It was not that difficult afterall.I gave him up!However,his smile will never be forgotten.Well,it was not too bad not crushing on him.At least we can still be friends.I finally was not crushing on him anymore.Or you could say,I AM crushing on him,but I do not let it show.Anyways,I am comfortable with it.
A year passed by in a split second.I was going to a different class as Gabriel.I did not know whether it was good news or bad news.I was quite bummed about it though.I do not really want to go to a different class as him.But there was no choice.Bye,Gabriel,I told myself.
It felt weird not having him around.But I made new friends together with Alyssa.Gabriel and I were starting not to hang out together anymore.He even changed his mobile phone number without informing me,causing me to send out some wasted SMSes.He seldom go online on the Messenger Online Net too.So there.I watched the distance between Gabriel and me increase itself.
I felt infuriated and disappointed.After one whole year of friendship,how could Gabriel completely ignore,or even forget me?Fine!Who needs him now that I have my besties here with me?I do not!I can do without him!I must forget that bastard,I told myself.
Unfortunately,as time flies by,the more I wanted to forget him,the more I thought of him.It was frustrating and I simply could not stop thinking about it.Now I wanted to hang out with him again,and do the things we did together last year.No no no.How could I?How could I even think about that bastard?How could I be missing him when in his mind,there already was not a person called Gladys?But I could not resist the temptation to talk to him.I will just talk to him.Nothing more than that,I vowed to myself.
Four months passed by like an aeroplace.It took some while for us to go online on Messenger Online Net.Finally,the precious moment came.
GlaDDDDDys: hello!=)
gaybrer: hi.
GlaDDDDDys: it's been a while since we last talk.
gaybrer: true.
GlaDDDDDys: so.....how's life?doing fine?
gaybrer: yeah,of course.
gaybrer: =)
gaybrer: how 'bout you?
GlaDDDDDys: same.life's great!
No,it is not.Not at all,I thought to myself.We talked about the normal stuffs like school life and each other.If only....If only I did not go on any further to talk about....liking him.If only.....If only the word 'if' did not exist!
GlaDDDDDys: hey.uh,i think......i am still a little fond of you.
gaybrer: uh..................you're joking.
GlaDDDDDys: no....i totally wasn't.it was true.i thought i wouldn't fall for you again.sigh,little did i know.
gaybrer: oh.
There was silence for some long minutes.After that,there was really nothing to talk to him about.Sigh,what should I do now?He was surprised,but did not say he like me.Game over,Gladys.Give him up!He does not like you!Game over,game over,game over.....I felt tears stinging behind my eyes and I blinked it away before it could blur my vision.I switched off the computer and headed to my room.Once inside,I threw myself to my ruby chair.Then,with my head buried in my hands,I sobbed my heart out.Is this the end?Is the end of our friendship and relationship?It this going to end just like that?I shook my head in denial.Why?Why must it be the end of Gabriel and my friendship?I would rather give up my friendship with Alyssa than with him.No!!!I could not.Alyssa is my good friend.Then what about Gabriel?More tears leaked out from my eyes.
Just then.the ringtone of my handphone sounded."Hello?"I sniffled.It was a familiar voice.Specification?The voice I had not and longed to hear for the past four months."Gladys?It's me.I guess it's hard to say....What I mean is,I guess I am kind of fond of you too.Actually,I have been fond of you around the start of this year.But since we were in the different class,I guess we would not be able to hang out so often and so I decided to forget you.Until you talk to me just now,I did not realise you are actually....still thinking I am so charming!"Chuckling,I felt tenses and muscles easing.He is back.Gabriel is back.We are back.So back!He continued,"That is why I did not gave you my new mobile phone number.Really sorry,Gladys.Anyway,I've got to hang up now.Talk to you soon some other day."
He like me!He is fond of me!We are fond of each other!I could not believe whatever is going on between us.What happened exactly?How did it happen?Totally bewildering.Anyway,it was really amazing how fast we confessed to each other.Maybe it was going a little too fast a pace.But I could not care less about that.I was glad enough that we could hang out together soon!
Gabriel finally messaged me after long awaited days.It read,"Hey,let's meet out this sunday at the same place.you're free,right?i guess we have to keep up with each other.as in,know each other a little more better before we go into a relationship,okay?"I smiled broadly.Cool!I was glad he was not anxious to get into a relationship too soon.It would be really ideal to do it his way.
I grew a bigger liking on him.I wanted to thank him,for giving me a chance to let me love him again.I will never let him go again!I promised myself to never let go of this good chance.In a blink of an eye,Sunday was over.Tuesday!It would be the ever FIRST date!First date with Gabriel!I could not help feeling nervous and anticipated.You can also say I could not wait!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
#03
Right.I think I made things worse.Why did not he gave me at least a reply?Why did he just give me a smile and left?Does that mean he like me or not?Now what?I scratched my head before hitting my head on my pillow.I was feeling a little dread to see Gabriel again.I felt kind of embarrassed and disappointed at his reaction.What was that all about?What did he mean by that?Sigh....
I must have been spending the whole night thinking about him now that I was almost deadbeat.Yawning,I made myself to the living room.Oh great.6.18 a.m.I have got to get ready for school.I was bleary-eyed.I could give anything to skip school and go back to sleep.And of course,to avoid seeing Gabriel.But no,I could not.Today was the presentation of the 'Dylexsia' project.I skipped breakfast and dashed to school.I did not want to be late.
Once I stepped into the classroom,I saw Gabriel smiling at me.I looked at my feet and I could feel my cheeks turning red instantly.Here goes,dreaded moment.I sat down at my desk at the same the time he turned his body around to talk to me."Urm....about yesterday...."He began.I sighed a huge sigh and looked away."Were you serious?"He continued.I turned to him and just mumbled,"I don't want to talk about it."He nodded his head and faced the whiteboard just as Mrs Ballington walked in.
I kept running through the scenario that happened yesterday in my mind.I did not paid much attention in class.Why did I just blurt out everything to him yesterday?That was a big mistake!I know not how to face him now.One word to describe my emotion:Confused.What should I do?Put this thing aside,and pay attention to what Mrs Ballington is talking about,maybe.
I did not talk to Gabriel for the past four hours.For the first time,I did not feel the urge to talk to him.Maybe that was because of......."Ring!!!"The school bell rang.A group of girls leapt from their seats and dashed out of the classroom in the next second,followed by some other pupils.I packed my backpack and was about to leave when Gabriel caught my attention.He was looking at me with his innocent eyes this time,as though he wanted to know what was wrong.
"Sorry,Gabriel.I....I didn't meant what I said yesterday."I told him.Then I let out a sigh of relief.I bit my lip while waiting for his response,hoping he would believe me.He gave me a puzzled look."Uh,I kind of don't buy that."He simply answered."Fine if you do not,"I stammered,and left in a hurry.I could picture his confused eyes as he see me leaving.
I sauntered home.He did not followed me.What have you done?Why were you so irritated?He did not do anything wrong,did he?Why do you have to shout at him?I was starting to feel annoyed at myself.I wanted to say sorry to him,and take back my words.But time could not rewind.Towards the end of the day,I began to realised I had over-reacted.I confessed to him,and then he smiled,and left,I recalled,for probably the 50th time."Sorry Gabriel."I mumbled.My eyelids gradually came down and I was asleep in the midst of the revision for chemistry.
"Look,Gabriel.I am so sorry about yesterday.And the day before."I started.He nodded,but did not speak."I guess....I should not have said all that...."I told him.He turned to me,and nodded slightly.There was silence for a few seconds."I guess I was a little uncomfortable about what you told me that day.You know,when you told me you like me and all,"was what he said.I tried hard not to blush.I wondered how and what I should answer next."Maybe because...I treated you only as a friend,not THAT way,you know?And I am surprised at how much charm I possess."He laughed."I had to laugh at that too."Well,you are really charming,so as to speak."I confessed.He smiled again.Thanks,Gabriel,I will never ever forget that smile."And uh....so sorry for making you 'feel uncomfortable'.I will try to get over you,deal?"Gabriel nodded at what I said."Thanks,I know we will still be good as friends,"he mouthed.
Problem solved.I have to get over him.But,I guess it would not be so easy to.As people say,"Easier said than done." I could not agree more.But I would have to just give it a try.Though I do not really know how to start.Well,at least we can still remain as friends.At least we can still be comfortable with each other.And little did I know.......at least there is a possibility of a next time.....a next time of falling in love with him again.
I must have been spending the whole night thinking about him now that I was almost deadbeat.Yawning,I made myself to the living room.Oh great.6.18 a.m.I have got to get ready for school.I was bleary-eyed.I could give anything to skip school and go back to sleep.And of course,to avoid seeing Gabriel.But no,I could not.Today was the presentation of the 'Dylexsia' project.I skipped breakfast and dashed to school.I did not want to be late.
Once I stepped into the classroom,I saw Gabriel smiling at me.I looked at my feet and I could feel my cheeks turning red instantly.Here goes,dreaded moment.I sat down at my desk at the same the time he turned his body around to talk to me."Urm....about yesterday...."He began.I sighed a huge sigh and looked away."Were you serious?"He continued.I turned to him and just mumbled,"I don't want to talk about it."He nodded his head and faced the whiteboard just as Mrs Ballington walked in.
I kept running through the scenario that happened yesterday in my mind.I did not paid much attention in class.Why did I just blurt out everything to him yesterday?That was a big mistake!I know not how to face him now.One word to describe my emotion:Confused.What should I do?Put this thing aside,and pay attention to what Mrs Ballington is talking about,maybe.
I did not talk to Gabriel for the past four hours.For the first time,I did not feel the urge to talk to him.Maybe that was because of......."Ring!!!"The school bell rang.A group of girls leapt from their seats and dashed out of the classroom in the next second,followed by some other pupils.I packed my backpack and was about to leave when Gabriel caught my attention.He was looking at me with his innocent eyes this time,as though he wanted to know what was wrong.
"Sorry,Gabriel.I....I didn't meant what I said yesterday."I told him.Then I let out a sigh of relief.I bit my lip while waiting for his response,hoping he would believe me.He gave me a puzzled look."Uh,I kind of don't buy that."He simply answered."Fine if you do not,"I stammered,and left in a hurry.I could picture his confused eyes as he see me leaving.
I sauntered home.He did not followed me.What have you done?Why were you so irritated?He did not do anything wrong,did he?Why do you have to shout at him?I was starting to feel annoyed at myself.I wanted to say sorry to him,and take back my words.But time could not rewind.Towards the end of the day,I began to realised I had over-reacted.I confessed to him,and then he smiled,and left,I recalled,for probably the 50th time."Sorry Gabriel."I mumbled.My eyelids gradually came down and I was asleep in the midst of the revision for chemistry.
"Look,Gabriel.I am so sorry about yesterday.And the day before."I started.He nodded,but did not speak."I guess....I should not have said all that...."I told him.He turned to me,and nodded slightly.There was silence for a few seconds."I guess I was a little uncomfortable about what you told me that day.You know,when you told me you like me and all,"was what he said.I tried hard not to blush.I wondered how and what I should answer next."Maybe because...I treated you only as a friend,not THAT way,you know?And I am surprised at how much charm I possess."He laughed."I had to laugh at that too."Well,you are really charming,so as to speak."I confessed.He smiled again.Thanks,Gabriel,I will never ever forget that smile."And uh....so sorry for making you 'feel uncomfortable'.I will try to get over you,deal?"Gabriel nodded at what I said."Thanks,I know we will still be good as friends,"he mouthed.
Problem solved.I have to get over him.But,I guess it would not be so easy to.As people say,"Easier said than done." I could not agree more.But I would have to just give it a try.Though I do not really know how to start.Well,at least we can still remain as friends.At least we can still be comfortable with each other.And little did I know.......at least there is a possibility of a next time.....a next time of falling in love with him again.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
#02
"Great.Totally great.I am really in love with him!Is this what they call....love at first sight?I guess so."I wrote off and sighed loudly.I'm really really really in love in him!Oh my!I refused to repudiate reality however.That was when I realised both our names starts with G.Gabriel and Gladys,I thought.Nice one.
As days passed,his mesmerizing smile appeared more often.Everytime he walk past me,I could feel the unusually high beatings of my heart.He was the one.He was the one who took my breath away.He took my soul away,too.I thought of him day and night,24/7.It annoyed me,but I could not help it.As weeks passed,I grew fonder of him.
He seemed like an angel in class.Almost every girl was fond of him.When some girls started flirting with him,I was getting worried.What if he likes one of them?Crossing my fingers,I wished he would not.I guess he would not,too.They were far too......gross.I shudder at the thought of them surrounding him and placing their hands on his shoulder and body.He was annoyed too,but he was obviously outnumbered.One day,I went forward and confronted them."Wow,your 'tongue-lashing' was rather impressive.Thanks anyway,Gladys."He said after the girls left,somewhat with embarrassment.His eyes was filled with sincerity as he showed me his appreciation.I was once again lost in his eyes.I did not want to look away until he narrowed his eyes at me."Sorry,I was uh....thinking of something else."I muttered.
That day came.He asked,"Want to meet up this afternoon?At the park just opposite school?For a walk?"I was curious as to why he wanted to meet me.My curiosity got the better of me and before I knew it,words left my mouth,"Sure.Why do you want me to meet with you?Just asking."The next moment was unusual.He was actually blushing!It was probably the first time he blushed in front of me."Uh....well,I don't know.Ha-ha.Meet you there then."He probed and left the classroom.My heart was beaming then.I could not wait!
Five more minutes.I quickened my pace.I did not want to leave him an impression that I am going to be late for dates.He was sitting at the bench a few tress away.I skipped towards him."Hi!What's up?"I began,almost making him jump."Whoa.Uh,let's take a walk."He told me.We strolled,and chatted about school life,friends,and all kinds of things.Then suddenly his expression changed and he told me to sit down on the bench which was before us."Urm,Gladys,I don't know how to put it,but......."I waited patiently for whatever he was going to say next.He seemed to be serious."Gladys,you're.....you're a good friend.Seriously.I mean,not only a good friend.But,you are special to me.And I am really grateful for what you have done the last time.You know,when you confronted the flirtatious girls...."Somehow,I was glad with what he had said.Hey,did he mentioned I was special?I did not hear it wrongly,did I?Before I could say anything,I was in his arms.He hugged me!My heart began palpitating.I felt warm in his arms.I wanted to make the moment last,and not let him go.But he let go after a while and gave me a big smile.Smile,yes,I thought.Your smile makes my day.
He walked me to the lift lobby of my house."You don't have to walk me up."I told him."Okay then."He said,before giving me another big smile."Hey wait Gabriel."I uttered.He turned around and gave me a 'yes-what's-up' look.I thought carefully before I spoke.Why did he said I was.....special?What did he meant?Special in a friendway or......?I was simply perplexed.I questioned myself,to confess of not to?Before I knew it,my mouth took control over my brain and I said,"I think I am fond of you."I waited for his response.For a few minutes he just stood there and stared at me.Then he smiled at me,and left.
As days passed,his mesmerizing smile appeared more often.Everytime he walk past me,I could feel the unusually high beatings of my heart.He was the one.He was the one who took my breath away.He took my soul away,too.I thought of him day and night,24/7.It annoyed me,but I could not help it.As weeks passed,I grew fonder of him.
He seemed like an angel in class.Almost every girl was fond of him.When some girls started flirting with him,I was getting worried.What if he likes one of them?Crossing my fingers,I wished he would not.I guess he would not,too.They were far too......gross.I shudder at the thought of them surrounding him and placing their hands on his shoulder and body.He was annoyed too,but he was obviously outnumbered.One day,I went forward and confronted them."Wow,your 'tongue-lashing' was rather impressive.Thanks anyway,Gladys."He said after the girls left,somewhat with embarrassment.His eyes was filled with sincerity as he showed me his appreciation.I was once again lost in his eyes.I did not want to look away until he narrowed his eyes at me."Sorry,I was uh....thinking of something else."I muttered.
That day came.He asked,"Want to meet up this afternoon?At the park just opposite school?For a walk?"I was curious as to why he wanted to meet me.My curiosity got the better of me and before I knew it,words left my mouth,"Sure.Why do you want me to meet with you?Just asking."The next moment was unusual.He was actually blushing!It was probably the first time he blushed in front of me."Uh....well,I don't know.Ha-ha.Meet you there then."He probed and left the classroom.My heart was beaming then.I could not wait!
Five more minutes.I quickened my pace.I did not want to leave him an impression that I am going to be late for dates.He was sitting at the bench a few tress away.I skipped towards him."Hi!What's up?"I began,almost making him jump."Whoa.Uh,let's take a walk."He told me.We strolled,and chatted about school life,friends,and all kinds of things.Then suddenly his expression changed and he told me to sit down on the bench which was before us."Urm,Gladys,I don't know how to put it,but......."I waited patiently for whatever he was going to say next.He seemed to be serious."Gladys,you're.....you're a good friend.Seriously.I mean,not only a good friend.But,you are special to me.And I am really grateful for what you have done the last time.You know,when you confronted the flirtatious girls...."Somehow,I was glad with what he had said.Hey,did he mentioned I was special?I did not hear it wrongly,did I?Before I could say anything,I was in his arms.He hugged me!My heart began palpitating.I felt warm in his arms.I wanted to make the moment last,and not let him go.But he let go after a while and gave me a big smile.Smile,yes,I thought.Your smile makes my day.
He walked me to the lift lobby of my house."You don't have to walk me up."I told him."Okay then."He said,before giving me another big smile."Hey wait Gabriel."I uttered.He turned around and gave me a 'yes-what's-up' look.I thought carefully before I spoke.Why did he said I was.....special?What did he meant?Special in a friendway or......?I was simply perplexed.I questioned myself,to confess of not to?Before I knew it,my mouth took control over my brain and I said,"I think I am fond of you."I waited for his response.For a few minutes he just stood there and stared at me.Then he smiled at me,and left.
Friday, October 10, 2008
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